Today is the last day of me being in my 30s. As the midnight rolls around, I will reach the fourth decade of my life. It seemed like my 20s were a lifetime ago and I spent a whole lifetime in my 30s.
To be honest, this was a decade of self-discovery. This was a decade of learning, unlearning, relearning and knowing what I need exactly from life and myself.
I have lost a few things, gained a few and let go of some. But overall, I am grateful that my 30s matured me, most importantly, humbled me and made me appreciate the smallest things.
So, here are 40 lessons that I learnt till I turned 40!
- Change is the most permanent thing in life. Everything, including ourselves, changes with time. If you can not keep up with the changes, it brings disharmony in your life.
- Set your goals wisely. Do not be influenced by someone else’s goals to live your life.
- Self-care is important and yes, it does not make you selfish to care for yourself.
- In extreme situations, your gut instinct is your guide and best friend. Always trust your guts. It will never lead you astray.
- Learning does not stop with formal education. You learn something new every moment. I have learnt so many things from my child while bringing him up.
- One lesson that I learnt from my child is that optimism comes from within. If you let external factors decide what you want to feel, you can never be optimistic.
- Another important lesson that my 30s taught me is that everything has a solution except regrets. In this world, only regret does not have any medicine. So, think a hundred times before you take any decision that can affect people around you.
- Perfection is not real. The people who think the opposite are living in a fool’s world. I have wasted lots of time chasing perfection that destroyed my peace of mind. The moment I let go of being the perfect woman, 90% of my stress was reduced.
- The things we see everyday on social media is not the reality. Reality is what you face day to day. Reality is the quiet dinner I have with my family, not the fancy restaurant I went to and did not enjoy a single bite.
- Fears are real and facing them will diminish them. As a mother, as a woman, I have so many fears. But facing them with bravery is something that helped me to overcome them.
- Procrastination is real and it can make things worse than you can imagine. I have my fair share of failures due to procrastination. But tiny changes in my attitude and daily life has helped me to reduce the rate of procrastination.
- In any relationship, communication helps to grow them. The relationship can be with anyone, your child, your spouse, your parents or siblings.. Communication makes everything better. My husband and I have made this habit of talking to each other for at least 30 minutes a day and we have maintained this habit since 2011. It has helped us to resolve any conflict, understand each other better and plan our future properly.
- While raising a child, it is also important to listen to your child. They are not your subjects to command. Talk and listen to your child every day to understand what they need, what is going on in their minds so that you can guide them better.
- Communication with myself is also important to grow as a person.
- Time heals everything. I know, it sounds cliche but you do forget the sharpness of a hurt over time. So, even if it feels like eternity, time will mend a few breaks in your heart.
- Forgiveness is a virtue a few can afford. I am not perfect and I can not say that if I have forgiven a few, but forgiving also heals heartbreaks. It also frees your mind from holding grudges
- Unnecessary conflicts should be avoided at every cost. Be ready to remove those people, situations from your life to maintain your peace of mind.
- Taking a career break or sabbatical does not deem you as a failure. Rather they make you strong.
- Every failure makes you strong. Every failure is a lesson God has taught you.
- Do not compare your journey with others. You never know what kind of hurdles a person has to cross to reach a position.
- Every person starts at a point that is different from others. Unless you are a superhero, nobody cares what your turning point is.
- Asking for help does not demean you. It shows that you are human and you have done everything humanly possible before asking for help.
- Admitting you do not know something also does not make you a lesser person. You are not God. you can not know everything.
- It is easy to advise people to leave their comfort zone and do something. But when it comes to you, it is easier said than done. So, be careful what you advise people. Unless you have never done that, it is better to keep your mouth shut.
- Process your grief. It helps to lessen your burden.
- Success or failure are not permanent but the lessons they teach us are. So, be grateful about it.
- You need money to maintain your peace of mind. Period. Everyone who is telling you that money can’t buy happiness is duping you. You really need money to buy things that bring joy to you.
- Love is eternal but so are heartbreaks.
- Listen to your body, always. Being down with Covid and battling post covid for a long time, I have come to respect my body and finally understood why it is said that health is wealth.
- So does mental health. Cut down anything that affects your health, both mental and physical.
- Books are our best friend and guide. Read at least one book a week. They will always show you the path.
- Indulge yourself. Dance, read, run, play.. Do anything that you love. I am already at the middle of my life, so I have to do what I love to my heart’s content.
- Work hard and rest harder. Rest is essential and it should never be compromised.
- Spirituality is personal and it is better never to discuss it with anyone.
- Let your child know what kind of person you are from the beginning. Be honest with them.
- You cannot tell your child what kind of person they should be. They will never listen. But you can show them with your actions. Be the person you want your child to be.
- Happiness totally depends on you.
- Laugh to your heart’s content. It keeps you young!
- Value the people who are your support system. Be their support too.
- Never, never compromise with yourself. People will value you once you start valuing yourself.
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